Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Worst Restaurant in Park Slope?

Restaurant Name: Sotto Voce
Restaurant Location: 225 7th Avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn

I usually like to post upbeat reviews of places I think worthy of visiting. However, I simply must express my distress about Sotto Voce. Before committing negative little finger-taps to the keyboard, I ate twice at Sotto Voce, just to be sure. I am now sure: this must be the worst restaurant in Park Slope. Yet - it is nearly always crowded. How can this be?

First, the bad: Sotto Voce has terrible service (rude, monosyllabic, indifferent), a filthy interior (think food on the floor, tables akimbo, things slopped onto the table, etc.), and truly terrible food (bland, tasteless, cold). I always try to look for the good things about a restaurant, but I honestly could not find anything positive about this horrible place.

But it never seems to run out of patrons, even as far superior places dwindle and go out of business. Why?

Well, sadly, I think this is because Sotto Voce long ago committed itself to embracing the twin principles of mediocrity and abundance. They ply you with all-you-can drink mimosas and dry, lifeless bread at brunch. They plop fat bowls of greasy pasta and better-made-at-home eggs before you. They let you loll about for hours, never taking your order or bringing your check, and they let your kids throw food on the floor, scream, and generally make a mess. In exchange, they feed you. And, at the end of the day, Sotto Voce proves that for many people, good food just doesn't matter.

It makes me sad that this places thrives while other more ambitious restaurants suffer and fail. But, as my dad always told, me: life just ain't fair.

In sum: if you value fresh, flavorful preparations (or, really, even warm ones) and desire at least moderately sentient service, avoid Sotto Voce like the plague.

Sotto Voce on Urbanspoon


Anonymous said...

Just stumbled upon your blog. This place really is awful--not unlike the long-lived and similarly inexplicably popular Tutta Pasta a couple of blocks up 7th. Yuck!

Anonymous said...

sooo true! wish we'd read this before going there.